Author: Old Mother Hubbard
I’ve read several rumors about Meow from various different people on EUM. Let’s go down the list of the Top 5 Rumors About Meow and have a Y/N vote for each at the end.
1. Meow’s fat as a fucking whale – Several different people have said that they know Meow, they go to school with her and they say that she is at least 300 pounds. Even Meow says she’s no wilting daisy. The kids at school are rumored to bully her and call her “Nuba” and “Sweathog.” I say Y.
2. Meow smells really bad because she never washes – Several people have stated, and I quote, “Meow smells like a walking stick of dogshit and she never changes her clothes.” That makes sense because lots of fat shits get winded when trying to clean themselves or wipe their fat asses or basically do anything except stuff their fat faces with food. It’s another Y.
3. Meow’s face should be in the dictionary next to the word “Sweathog” – I have heard that the kids in school call her “Nuba” and many have said she has greasy, matted, unkempt hair. Someone by the name of John has said, and I quote, “Her face looks like a fucking rhinoceros.” Boohogs do tend to look like rhinoceros so another Y.
4. Meow has white head zits all over her face and body – When people don’t wash properly, for whatever reason, they tend to have skin problems. Also big fat shits who constantly stuff their faces and grunt while they eat tend to have bad skin as well so it would stand to reason that Meow would be pimple faced. Another Y.
5. If Meow got pissed off at you in person you may be in trouble – A guy named John said, and I quote, “If that buffalo gets angry and comes charging at you, you better run.” Meow has showed volatility and signs of being mentally unstable during her tenure on EUM. Meow gets very angry and has also threatened violence when people discover the truth about her weight, odor and zits so I think this one is a no brainer. Y.
Anywho, there you have it Bunky. Another great list. Please put your answers to the 5 rumors below in the comments section with a Y or a N. Here is my answer sheet as an example:
1. Y
2. Y
3. Y
4. Y
5. Y
Should I do that jealous little asshole Cole next?
ALL OF THESE ARE NOT TRUE GO KYS FAGGOT!
Dont care and nobody asked.
Hmm okay lemme answer these. 1. Used to be fat as a kid, lost tons of weight within just a few months. Only like 100-105 pounds now though. I like to keep little bit of weight on just for a curvier body, ya know. I was once underweight and man I don’t know how people enjoy that. I think women and men should keep a little bit of weight just cause it looks better and probably has a little bit of health benefits. 2. Wrong. I shower every 1-2 days. I use soap and a lot of hygiene stuff. I’ve been complimented a few times on my smell. 3. Nope. My hair is long, thick, and healthy. It’s literally longer than my goddamn ass, meaning I do have to tie it up quite frequently. Because it’s so thick, I have to brush it a lot. 4. Another no. I used to have bad acne, but I fixed it and now my skin is super clear. Unless you’re unlucky enough to have genetic acne, skincare is mostly bullshit that you don’t need. What ya really need is enough water/hydration, good nutrition, yada yada. 5. It’s funny you talk about ME showing signs of mental illness on here… I mean, look at you. But anyways … Yeah this is just bullshit. This has inspired me to do a post like this but for you. Would you like that? You call Cole obsessed… but we all know YOU are the obsessed cunt. Seriously,… Read more »